February 22, 2022

Perspective | Miss Manners: My stepmother-in-law won't stop correcting my manners in public - The Washington Post

She has come to my house for my Easter meal every year since we were married. Every year, she begins plating her food while I am still cooking and while other guests are visiting.

They live an hour from us, and we have been to their home maybe four times. One time was for dinner near Christmas. I had drunk a pop in the car, and had the bottle with me when we entered their house, planning to put it in her recycling. She told me how rude it was to bring a drink into her home. Then she served us the leftovers from her side of the family's celebration from days before.

More than once, she has embarrassed me by calling out my failings in her eyes. One time, she took me as a guest to a charity event. I ate my food with the correct silverware, napkin on my lap — but then in front of her friends, she told me I wasn't supposed to eat the entire broccoli spear, just the stalk. Another time, my father-in-law told me that I hurt her feelings because I would not allow my 3-year-old son to play with an inflatable plastic beer bottle.

But I'm truly angry that my husband will not stand up for me. He would never speak up on my behalf because he does not want to be in opposition to her.

I avoid her now, and I don’t go to his family functions. But I’m stuck on Easter: How do I avoid her “lessons” given to me in front of others?

While she cannot solve your deeper marital problems, Miss Manners can at least tell you how to deal with those public corrections.

Smile blandly after she delivers one of those diatribes, and then turn the smile toward the witnesses. “I’m so fortunate,” you should say, “to have a stepmother-in-law who cares enough to point out my every fault.”

When sitting at a shared table with others in a coffee shop, restaurant or classroom, invariably some people plop their used mask on the shared table in front of everyone, often quite close to the food and/or coffee of other guests. Wouldn’t it be more polite to put used masks out of sight in a purse or pocket?

New protocols can often be deduced from old ones. Placing a mask on the table would be like parking a handkerchief there after blowing one’s nose, and should never be done.



source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2022/02/22/miss-manners-stepmother-in-law-wont-stop-correcting-manners/

Your content is great. However, if any of the content contained herein violates any rights of yours, including those of copyright, please contact us immediately by e-mail at media[@]kissrpr.com.